Shelly Marshall has dedicated her life to working with young addicts and their families in recovery. As a Hazelden author, her books Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts and Young Sober and Free: Experience, Strength, and Hope for Young Adults are recovery classics. Her subsequent works like thePocket Sponsor, and Sitting in Pictures, Vision Meditations for Addiction Recovery, are classic recovery at its best.Sober Coaching Your Teen, Workbook: Managing a drug crisis with your out-of-control Teen, is a workbook teaching parents how to stop enabling and give real support to their teen in recovery. Marshall's research has been published in five peer-reviewed, refereed professional/scholarly journals, making her world-recognized as an advocate and activist for clean and sober young people. In 1992, Shelly went to work in Russia and helped organize an Academy to train Addiction couselors. She also helped organize NA in Moscow which was recently featured in the Russian NA newsletter, Today Only. Her contributions have been, and continue to be, significant as a Hazelden author, as an international trainer and keynote speaker, a published researcher, and even as a small successful publisher.
A Small Publishing House Began
In 1996 Shelly had a vision for a book that promised to support 12 Step recovery better than a daily meditation book--one that gave a message for every hour of the day for a month. She gathered up as many slogans, great one liners, and all the wisdom of the oldtimers she could find from meetings around the world. These were put together in the hugely popular book, the Pocket Sponsor, As a result, the small publishing house, Day By Day was created.
Day By Day only carries a few titles, but each is unique, carries the wisdom of the oldtimers, and has the lowest recovery book prices in the industry. Whether for gifts, the treatment center where you work, or just to pass out to those you love in recovery, Day By Day books reach into people's spirits where hope is born and supports their recovery every hour of the day.
Media & Press Release
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Bonner, MT. Are you sick of being told that everything that goes wrong with your child is your fault? They get into a fight and you are told you shouldn't have bought that Nintendo game; they act up in class and you are told you weren't firm enough; they ditch school and you are told you don't eat three meals a week with them? At what point does accountability for behavior become the responsibility of the one who did it?
"Responsibility is a great word," says Shelly Marshall, BS, CSAC, author of Young, Sober, & Free published by Hazelden of Center City, MN. "It holds within it the key to answer the question: Who is responsible? Ask yourself, who is able to respond? Who is response-able? The one able to respond to a situation, is the one who has to be responsible." Parents can't study for the child's test, parents can't hand cuff their kids so they don't swing their fists, and Mom or Dad doesn't pour the beer down the throat of their son or daughter!
ToughLove's co-founder, Phyllis York agrees in her book Toughlove Solutions, "The issue of responsibility for behavior is critical to behavior change. The therapists who assume that kids' parents are responsible for their teenagers' behavior are dramatically reducing the chances that the kids will change for the better."
Ms. Marshall, a recovering chemical dependent who cleaned up at 21, contends that parents are held way too accountable for influences that are often beyond their control. Parenting becomes a sort of retroactive blame game whereby adolescent tribulations are referred to some expert who probes into the family situation and eventually ends up with a "reason" why Jared or Janell went astray. Since no person is perfect, obviously no parent can parent perfectly, and with enough probing the "experts" will always find something in the parenting that they can pin the child's behavior on. Parents are accused of being neglectful or smothering, too harsh or too lenient, not being understanding enough or being more of a friend to their child than a parent. In other words, whatever the expert can find becomes the "reason" that the child is having trouble.
"One of the sad things about this," Marshall notes, "is that it either forces the parents into undeserved guilt over what they should have done or it fosters denial so they don't have to face what the supposedly caused." Marshall is an adolescent chemical dependency specialist and finds the parental Blame Game particularly damaging to families and their drug abusing children. It makes it very hard for a young person to work toward recovery. "Why should they bother to change when the therapist has excused them and blamed their parents?" explained Phyllis York.
Young, Sober,& Free, Experience, Strength and Hope is a classic in the recovery field and has sold 250,000 in the first edition. It has just been updated with one particularly strong chapter to parents containing the message: you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. "Even so, this book is not written for parents," Marshall says, "it is written to be used by the person picking up the drink or drug, the responsible-able person. Parents can't not pickup the drink or drug, only the person addicted can do that." The second edition was released by Hazelden A few years back and is still the best book available for the young person in recovery. For additional information see Marshall's website Teenage Addicts Can Recover
End Press ReleaseIf you are super interested, and I'm not sure why you would be, you can download my resume here: Marshall Resume
I do keynote speaking and workshops. I'd love to arrange something for you. Basically my fee is $200 an hour or $600 for the day plus expenses. I do offer free engagements for non-profits and 12 Step events. Call for details.
- Interview with Judith Rich Harris author of the Nurture Assumption
Day By Day was written by members of Denver's Young People's group of Alcoholic's Anonymous in 1973. A group of them began a halfway house for the dual addicted (having sprung from the Hippie's of the '60s) and started the first NA group in Colorado. This classic came from those 12 Step Warriors. Download the full story.